Hello!!
Decided to do a quick update on my pathetic life( Im serious, it is REALLY very sad)
During the last week of our Oct holidays, i went MIA and before that, i contacted a few of my really close friends, leaving a few words behind for them. And after that, i went MIA...
During that period, I switched off my phone and refused to go onto Facebook & MSN... I would only turned on my phone for an hour each day before switching it off in tears...
The pain was just too unbearable for me.. I refused to consume anything starting from that fateful Wednesday and only came out into the outside on Saturday night as I, along with my friends, volunteered for a NikeRun marathon. And because i didn't want them to know what happened previously, I forced myself to eat some food and that was when I had my first proper meal...
During that same period, I was already sick beforehand and due to what happened,my health deteriorated and that is why even though it has already been one month and 8 days, my health is still pretty much affected in the sense that, I get sick easily and my appetite fluctuates between being SUPER hungry and being NOT hungry at all.
What happened to me? Let's just say that I would not reveal his name or what he has done or what we went through.
He was the guy whom I thought I could really trust myself with and I was falling for him deeply as each day passed by. They say that true love can never be measured by the amount of days and that was what I truly felt and experienced.
Even though he has left me now and I have decided to move on, my heart still have him and our memories in it...
I know its gona be a tough journey for me, crying every night and thinking about him...
Im so lucky to have my friends around me to support me... without them.. I really have no idea what would happen to me... I could even be dead by now... who knows?
And yes, you guys can go ahead and laugh me! A useless ugly bitch who went through 3 failed dating period, always being dumped by guys, stupid and worthless!
I admit, I do find myself a piece of junk in this world...
So many bad things happened and it all revolved around me! My family, my events, my dance, my love life and even my friends.
I do admit and feel that I am losing some of my friends, worse, one of them was someone whom I thought was my close friend, so close that I would tell her literally everything, so close that I felt that I need her, so close that she was literally the one and only person whom I talk to and cry to when things turned bad between me and XJ. I lost her to another friend, someone whom we were both close to, someone who is now her classmate, both being in the same "group". How i know? Its just so damn obvious,especially the way she would plan her birthday and her birthday presents, it was just a huge blow to me... But i can only blame it upon myself, having too much commitments, having so many friends and not being able to balance myself properly. I can only say, Im sorry my love affair. But anyway, I doubt anyone would read this space anyway, it has been dead for quite some time already! I guess, it is better for me anyway! More privacy!
As for that guy...
Well, things were going so damn smoothly! It felt that like forever but i guess the word "forever" never exist in my dictionary cause we ended shortly after I screwed up. It was my fault. I blamed no one except myself. All it took was some fear from my past and my stubbornness.
As i have promised my Ms Tan and my classmate Ms Wong, I will focus on my studies, dance, NPSU and friends from now onwards and am gona stop dating for the time being. I need time to heal my broken heart. I am so damn tired.
Alright, that's all. Bye and stay tuned! I will try to update after my Common Test period!
Love, the heartbrokenandwoundedsoul Sheena Lau
0 comments:
Post a Comment