What Are Words If You Really Don't Mean Them

I don't understand guys.

I don't understand relationships.

All along, you knew I was waiting for you. It was only that day that I broke down to you, saying that I am tired of this. But then again, you knew that I would wait for you. It's only April, I should strong enough. After all, I am Sheena Lau, the girl whose optimism and cheerfulness could overpower anything. 

I am sorry to say that I am indeed weak and that day was part of the breaking point. But then again, after hearing what your friend told me. I realised that you lied to me.

So are you telling me, that our relationship was build based on a lie? Your beautiful lie?

You asked me "You don't want us anymore."

Since when did I say that?

More like, you don't want us anymore? I don't know. 

You told me that you lied. And this is one question I have for you.

" Which part did you lie? "

I honestly do not know what you are thinking now. 

All i ask is just for you to tell me the truth. 

Let me have a proper closure for once. 

I am sorry to say that I really couldn't believe you when you told me you were innocent about that Facebook issue. 

I am sorry to say that it is because the facts are just lying down there in front of me. 

The truth hurts. Indeed it hurts. 

I am very angry.

But I am also very disappointed and sad. 

Maybe you are right. That I don't want this anymore. 

But then again, my heart is talking to me. Telling me to think again. 

Sorry my friends, wanted to post something cheerful but yea. 

Anyway, all these drama occurred during this period. My exam period. 

DamnFuckShit

I would be off to camp from tomorrow and back on Wednesday. And by then, I promise to post up more pictures and more of my cheerful life! 

Thank god the people going as crew doesnt read my blog. Though it is sad that no one reads my blog, but I guess, this is what i call privacy? 

My blog is like my online diary. 

I pin down all my thoughts into this little space so that one day, I would read back and ponder on what I should have done, what I should not have done etc. 

And for those who reads my blog and happens to see me, please do not ask me what happened. Just sit beside me and offer me your shoulder. 

Just a simple "How are you feeling now?" would be sufficient. 

At least for my camp tomorrow, I am assured that no one knows about this as they do not read my blog and at least, I can fake a smile and pretend that things are alright. 

All i want is just a simple hug. 

Realised I kept typing the word "simple" ? 

Because life is just too complicated at this moment and I just want to live a simple lifestyle. 

Love, the tiredofallthis Sheena Lau

I'm slowly getting closure, I guess it's really over

I'm back!!

For the time being, as after I'm done typing this, I would need to START my mugging session. And I am screwed... Like.. Really screwed.. No joke!

Let me break it down to you why and how I am screwed... 

IN MATHS.. Wahahaha!(Too bad for those who hate Maths*insert biggest smile ever*)

Exams start on the 1st of March. 

Today is the 19th of February. 

Wait... Why should I even consider today since I already spend more than half the day sleeping? Heck! Shall sleep more and start tmr...

Anyway, as I was saying, 

Exams start on the 1st of March.

I would only be able to start tomorrow, 20th of February.

Means I only have 9 days to study. 

I have 3 papers to cover. 

I have a total of 25 chapters to cover. 

Now, in Elementary Maths version, it means...

(9 Hours x 24 Hours) / 25 Chapters = 8.64 Hours per Chapter...

Yea right... 

If it was that easy den life would awesome BUT sadly, in reality aka Additional Maths version, i would need to add in the hours whereby I sleep, eat, watch Funshion, shower, use the washroom and... shop online..HAHAHAHA.. ok fine, I shall eliminate that...

So back to calculation!

9 days.

25 chapters. 

I shall sleep for 5 hours a day so means I have a total of 45 hours to sleep.

I take an hour to eat my meal because I include TV hours as well so means... 27 hours to eat.

I shall restrict myself to watching only 2 episode per day so means ... 18 hours.

I take an hour for my shower( Hello!, I need to dry my hair, apply eye cream, apply moisturizer, use hair serum etc!)... 18 hours.

I shall limit myself to 4 water breaks in between the day... 9 hours. 

I need at least 12 hours to memorise my stuff for my 1st March paper... 12 hours.

so means I am left with... 87 hours to study for 25 Chapters but sadly, I did not include the hours where I would digress=_=...

Hey! Actually, I am not that screwed after all! Or did I mess up my calculations? 

Whatever... 

I promise I would update after my papers!=)

I know I kinda made this kind of promises dozens of time but erm... Sorry, I am a busy girl with a busy lifestyle*wink* Hahahaha!

Ooh by the way, I went for a haircut on the 29th of January and chopped off 4 inches and straightened my hair! Shall show you pictures of how it looked like... in the next post... HAHAHAHAHA!=)

Webcam pictures BEFORE my haircut...

No quotes for today! I wana sleep! Hee hee...

Love, the reallyverytiredandshallsleepfirst Sheena Lau

I'm sick of all the insincere

Boy: I broke up with her.

His Best Friend: What happened?

Boy: She’s just too much for me.

His Best Friend: What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?

Boy: Well, for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..

Boy: Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..

Boy: But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..

Boy: I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her so she wouldn’t bitch about it.

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..

Boy: Well, she..

His Best Friend: You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?

Boy: I broke her heart.. Because I couldn't see what was happening.. What happened to me?

His Best Friend: You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened.

credit from:thediamondkidd

You can mend my heart but I know very well that it would never be perfect and complete ever again. 

No my friends, I am still single and my heart is not broken by ANOTHER guy as what you people are thinking now. Its just a thought that came to my mind, causing me to lose my sleep the night before=_=...

I'm young but I can't add the tracks of my tears from crying

Hello again my friends!=) 

Before you start reading, click on the ad placed right on top of my blog ok?=) Be nice~~

This shall be a short post before as I need to write down the prices for my dear friend, Cheng, for her Garage Sale cum Bazaar event! I would giving her some of my old clothes to sell and I hope there would be some kind souls out there willing to buy my clothes! Hahaha!

Anyway, was reading Audrey Lim's blog and I came across this "picture" which I find it to be meaningful! 

Don't you find it pretty true? Hahaha!! Ok la, I guess more of me finding it meaningful la...

Btw, to my love affair if you are reading this,I have been thinking about it for a few days and I realised that I have been such as asshole by going against him all these time. He does have his occasional good points and that is why I am gona wish you all the best with him and don't you ever forget that if he were to bully you *touch wood*, my phone would be available for you 24/7 as usual~~ Love you loads!! XOXO~

Source: TheLoveStories from Twitter 

You can’t love with fear in your heart and hesitation in your mind.

Sorry: is just like a band-aid. Just because you use it, doesn't mean it will heal the wound

Without love, respect, honesty and friendship, a relationship doesn’t stand a chance

In the end, you'll realize how cruel your fake friends can be. They're more cruel than your enemies

Life is an echo; all comes back, the good, the bad, the false, & the true. So, give the world the best you have & the best will come back to you

Love, the goingtobebusysoon Sheena Lau

Don't say you love me, you're leaving

halo!=)

(hello in Malay)

Why the sudden addition of the Malay language in my blog? Well, because I was looking @ my blog statistics and I was curious to find out the nationality of my readers and was surprised to see so many different countries popping up on the data! How did you guys even find me? Hahaha! 

Chinese New Year is coming and have any of you guys bought your clothes?=) For my non-chinese mates, Chinese New Year would be start on the 3rd of February and would normally last for a month. 

Sadly, I have not due to my busy schedule! But I would start shopping as soon as my BA Bazaar is over!!=)

Sidetrack: 

Hey guys, do make the 22nd of January available cause the whole of the business cohort in NP would be having booths set up in Scape's flea market. This is for our entrepreneurship module and so do come down to support us! My booth number is 14 and do come down to purchase my items mainly cause my team-mates and I are DAMN broke now!!=( Be nice and come! Haha!=)

back to topic:

Talking about shopping, who is free after the 22nd?! Ask me out to shop as well ok?=)

Ooh! However, I just ordered 3 items online and they are gorgeous!! Well, at least on the model, I am not even pretty, so the clothes may look disastrous on me... 

Jade Paperbag Dress 

White Ruched Toga which can be worn 2 way as shown by the 2 model

Both are from Leflirtini and I really liked the Paperbag dress! Its sweet on the front and sexy at the back! Hope it doesnt go OOS!!!

The third dress would be from Theclosetlover and the colour is super..... CNY-ish! Omg.. I know.. broken english but... I just can't find the word for it!

Flutter Sleeve Toga Dress


This has reminded me of something... 


I have not done up my shopping check-list! *smack forehead*

1. Lingerie ( would most probably buy from Cotton On Body)
2. School Bag
3. Sandals
4. Pumps
5. Bracelets 

Alright! I should head back to my Big Bang Theory!=)

Source: ihatequotes from Twitter


The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart


Most people are desperately unhappy because they're too busy trying to be someone they wished they were


Trying something new can also contribute to increased self-esteem and make it easier for you to move on
Smile even through your tears. Be strong even through your fears

Love, the needtostudynowbuttoodistracted Sheena Lau

shine a light on her

Ni Hao!=)

(for my non-chinese friends, it means hello in mandarin)

shall show you a few pictures I took with my awesome FOX sweater!=)

Yea.. was trying to do the YEAH sign...=_= epic failure...

Sorry for being MIA again! Was really busy with my projects and well.. hanging out with friends... hahaha! 

Anyway, when I have the time(soon soon!), I would update on my...

1.  Genting trip for the Countdown
2. Pre-Xmas outing with my 4e2  
3. Random trip to town with love affair 
4. A few random pictures which do not belong to any category because they are just too random

Anyway, update on my life...

To be honest, D was supposed to meet me last Friday to give me an explanation for his actions and well.. to give both of us a chance to make it up for our mistakes. But... starting from Wednesday( or is it Thursday?), D went MIA again and... I really really don't know what to do now... A guy friend told me that perhaps D just needs more time to prepare himself and his speech for me or that things just ain't gona work out between us. I don't know honestly... Should i trust D again? I admit that it was indeed my fault that we had to end... but this time, it is your fault for what happened and I just hope that you would one day resurface and once again be the brave D that i know of 3 years ago. 

Anyway, enough talk about D. 

I just realised that til now, I have not posted up my 2010 post and I am just so lazy to type it down! But then again, by having that post, I am able to remember what happened during that fateful year and think back upon my mistakes and perhaps, change for a better year, 2011. 

Til now, my 2011 has been peaceful and surprisingly, pleasant. I am currently on this book titled All men are until proven otherwise and I quite like this book! Been reading only the first few 50 pages and I am pretty amazed by the author.=) 

Source: mr_lovequotes from Twitter

Listening is the attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals.

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have love at all

True love begins when nothing is looked for in return

Love, the boredandtiredbutstuckinlecture Sheena Lau

Yes, I would die for you, Baby. But you won't do the same.

Hi friends!=) 

Finally, I am down with 2 papers and luckily I have a day off tomorrow, therefore I can have my last-min-mugging-session! After my last paper, I WILL BE FREE LIKE FINALLY! I can finally shop, chill, chit-chat, chalet and camp!....(random note: all the Cs except for "shop" man! omg..)

Ooh! Another random fact : MY PARENTS ARE COMING BACK TONIGHT FROM CHINA, XIAMEN! Omg... Finally... I can stop being the maid of the family and resume my daughter role aka slack @ home and smile @ my mom... HAHAHAHA! Joking la! Since when am I so mean?

In fact, contrary to what my friends are ALWAYS saying... I will do some household chores such as cleaning the dishes!*shy*

Anyway! Christmas is coming and I would really wana celebrate it for once! Yea... my family ain't big on such occasions... Really hope that one day, I would get to enjoy eating home-cooked roasted turkey with my family!=(

Anyway, what are your plans for Christmas?=)

For me... 

Hmmm...

Maybe BBQ session @ my house with fellow friends?=) I know for sure that town or any other places in Singapore would be super packed with people and I would rather spend it @ home with a few of my beloved people and friends! Sweet right?=))

Ooh! Since now I am having my mini-break before I continue studying for my remaining 2 papers, I shall list down my shopping list!

• skinny belts( black and red/yellow/any other nice colours)
• covered flats
• sandals
• new flip flop( either Ripple or The Little Things She Needs)
• tote bag
• new dress + top + bottom( at least one each)
• black stockings( mine has a hole and I threw it away)
• restock my make-up kit
•  tank tops in all colours!! currently going crazy on this (F21 or Cotton On)

I guess that's all... I know it seems like a lot but well.. Don't forget something... I DO NOT SHOP BRANDED GOODS! So I guess its pretty reasonable?=)

Anyway, if any of you are curious... No.. I am not dating anyone and I would not be doing so as I am gona concentrate on my studies this time round! 

My life now is pretty much back to normal and I am satisfied with my current lifestyle=)

No more dramas, No more tears over guys, No more thinking about my own flaws or mistakes! No more!=)

To D 

I am not sure whether you would read this but since you already deleted me off not just Facebook but my number as well, what are the chances that you would still be viewing my blog even if you indeed used to frequent this page. I was being curious a few days ago and when I tried to locate you on Facebook, I couldn't find you at all. I decided to head to Selina's Facebook and tried locating you but guess what, you were "missing" as well. 

My question to you is this : " Why are you doing this?" I suspect that you deactivated your account? But in the first place, why delete me and Jas off your friends list? Why Jas?! And as for why we ended, the text that you sent me via your OLD PHONE NUMBER is something that i kinda expected. What i wanted, is the truth. They say the truth hurts and that its better to be sorry for the truth rather than being sorry for telling the truth. Until now, I would still think about it. Remember I told u previously that the real reason of why I was unable to let go of my past was because they did not give me the answer, the truth. And now this again? I loved you and I still do but I know that this has to end as this is what you wanted and I shall grant your wish. 

Alright! Time for quotes!=)

Source: the viatumblr from Twitter 

Action speaks louder than words. Remember ‘well done’ is much better than ‘well said’

The only guy you need in you life is the one that proves that he needs you in his. 

Your parents may not be the most perfect one. But they are the most perfect gift God ever given you.

Love, the tired&gonanapnowbeforewakinguptohell Sheena Lau

sink me in the river at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song

hi friends!

Common Test is coming in a few days and yet I have not started... ok la.. is one lecture of one out my four modules considered? Haha! Anyway, Im screwed but as I was really going through dozens of shit recently, I know that I am gona score super badly for this so... GG=)

Anyway!! 

Thankfully my upcoming holiday is gona be SUPER PACKED til the extent that I may not get to have the time to even breathe!! Well, some of you may ask why am I doing this...

I just need get things off my mind... things that hurt me emotionally and ruined my health... things that I don't ever want to recall...things that now made me doubt myself... things that may have changed me and the way i view certain issues... things that made me wana hole up in some corner and hide forever...

Here's my schedule for December!

• 17 - 18: 4E2 class chalet 
• 21 : I&E event ( come if u are my friend! haha!)
• 22: Sourcing trip to Malaysia for my booth @ Scape
• 27- 29: Prep Camp( that is, if I am selected la)
• 30 - 1 Jan 2011: Genting with awesome dance mates

Hey! Its not that packed eh...=_= fine...

Anyway, from now onwards, I have decided to post some quotes for every single post and @ the end of each post, I would end it in an interesting way which you will find out later!=)

Random pictures and pictures taken when I had my dinner w my Zorine and PeiQin!=)

The super sweet and warm Nutella Pie 

My lemonade! Its awesome!!

I think it is the Pear Tart?

My Diva ring...

Little Miss PQ

Little Miss Z

Little Miss S

Til then, stay tuned!=)

Source: TheLoveStories from Twitter

If we hate someone, we tell it to everyone without any fear. If we love someone, we even fear to tell the loved one.

God’s plan is like a movie. All the good and bad things are arranged together for the good ending.

Place your time and energy on someone who will add sunshine to your life. Life is too short to waste on wrong one.

Faith and trust are belief without proof. If you need proof, you don't truly trust!

Trust is the easiest thing in the world to loose, and the hardest thing in the world to get back.

Love, the boredbutstillneedtostudyuntilbonkers Sheena Lau